I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Randomize
