the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize