Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
