would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
