I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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