your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
