new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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