Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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