At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
