not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
