Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
