I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
