Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
