Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
