Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
