Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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