That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
