There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize