i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
ttyl tear gas
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize