It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
