did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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