atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
