He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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