so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
