i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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