if i can run in heels then i can drive
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
