where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
