i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
