you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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