Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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