i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You made out with two different species that night
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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