I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
