Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
