He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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