She's JV to your varsity
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
