just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
