I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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