walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
