I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
