There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
