i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Randomize
