I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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