You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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