people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
