is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
