4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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