so explain again why im purple
no
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
