Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
