oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
