I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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