I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize