So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
