I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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