You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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