do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
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