garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
