Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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