What did we do last night that was yellow?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
