he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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