Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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