they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
