3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He did a backflip because drugs
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
