Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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