i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize