ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
