Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
